older woman-younger man jokes
When we went for our marriage license they asked if I’d considered adoption.
After our blood test, I got a bill and he got a lollypop.
Our wedding photo has me in a gown and him on a pony.
Big Bird was our best man!
He signed our marriage license in crayon.
For our marriage vows, he promised to love, honor, and brush after every meal.
He wanted a condo in Mr. Rodgers neighborhood.
Our honeymoon was his class trip.
His idea of foreplay is peek-a-boo.
During sex he says, “Are we there yet?”
Young? I burp him after sex.
Actually, I don’t think of it as sex. I think of it as Quality Time.
I have an IUD with a night light.
He thought a menstrual cycle was a two-wheeler for boys.
I had to explain to him that J. Edgar Hoover had nothing to do with vacuum cleaners.
I think of him as my latch-key husband.
He thinks of an after-theatre snack as his ten o’clock feeding.
For birth control, I use the Montessori Method.
He has training wheels on his car.
His idea of a mixed drink is TANG.
He used to be in news…but he gave up his paper route.
He told me he did a little acting…he was an acorn in an Arbor Day play.
He also said he did some construction…LEGGOS!
He thinks hard drugs are non-chewable aspirin.
We write Play-Doh off as a business expense.
When someone asks what he does, I say “homework.”
Young? He thought Pearl Harbor was where they dive for oysters.
He thought getting a piece of ass meant pinning the tail on the donkey.
I thought it was kinda cool that he enjoyed sex with the light on—until I found out it was because he was afraid of the dark!
The only club he belonged to was “The Clean Plate Club.
I let him soak in the tub for hours and prayed for wrinkles.
It takes him a week to get a five-o’clock shadow.
I have more hair on my face than he does.
When I mentioned the U.S. Space Program he asked when it was on.
He still thinks swinging has something to do with monkey bars.
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